“Day 2: Something You Love About Yourself”
Having a hard time finding something this morning. I had a small relapse last night from what began as a perfectly normal Anniversary dinner date with M. I had eaten well and on my plan all day long, had plans to make my own meal, pick him up some sushi take out and make some sort of romantic date out of it- we’d eat somewhere in the city, dressed up, grab some decaf… I gave in to his persuasion to eat out with him instead, with the delicate thought of being able to order non-fried veggie sushi. That didn’t appeal to me. If I was going to have sushi, I was going to HAVE sushi with him like we’re used to doing: the fancy rolls with shrimp and crab and sometimes red meat and sauces. Delicious, but the feeling didn’t last. Instead, guilt came in and began kicking me. Then, I began rationalizing our date and
persuaded begged M to take us out for dessert. He kept pushing me not to with the intention of keeping me on track, like I’ve asked him so many times. But in my mind, since I had already gone “off,” I might as well continue to enjoy harm myself further. So, 15 minutes later and I’m sitting with an enormously tall slice of Black Forest Cake [why is it called that? It doesn’t resemble anything about trees to me. It should be “Prepare your insulin Cake.”], going forkfully in. [My blog= my made up vocabulary.] We drove back home later on, M heads to the bathroom and to change clothes, and I’m in the kitchen, sneaking a few Christmas cookies meant for our neighbors. Awesome.
Anyway, back to something I love. Well, I guess it’s a good thing that I have no shame in sharing my “sins.” I don’t want to be a bullshitter.
Okay, for real. I’m back on track just like that this morning. Cookies are hidden. I like my perseverance.