Cue the Overhead Lightbulb

There are few words to specify exactly how I’m feeling today, friends, besides these:

• Bloated like a balloon
• Irritable
• Exhausted
• Depressed and pissed at the world
• Tired beyond belief
• Swollen
• Just in severe pain (headaches, stomach ache, muscle and joint aches)

For a few months now, I’ve been avoiding anything grain and wheat-related (exception of the off times when I fall into some emotional eating). Anytime I bring it back into my diet again, I’m met with first: the delicious taste that I’ve been “missing,” and then second: the awful aftershocks of bloating, slowed down digestive system, painful headaches, and more. I started to suspect that it may be from a strange food allergy that I was having or maybe crossing paths with some bad oatmeal… but didn’t think much of it. If food preferences are genetic, I get my crazy carb addiction from my mother, who can happily put away a loaf of bread in two days. It’s kind of repulsive for me to think about how much bread, pasta, and other grains she eats. She also recently has been diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome (for those of you who know what that is), which I learned today is a direct symptom of Celiac’s Disease. Hmmmm…

For all you scientific folk, here is a diagram of what goes on:

In my mistake, I loaded up (much too much) on oatmeal last night, in hopes to properly carb-load for my half marathon tomorrow. I’m talking 6 cups worth. Bad, bad mistake. “Ruh roh, Raggy!” I’m nearly reenacting the bridal shop scene from Bridesmaids and it ain’t pretty.

I’m setting up an appointment for an internist at a local hospital for this week. As much as I dreadfully HATE needles and blood, I need to suck it up for the sake of my health. This isn’t about avoiding carbs to look like a pageant princess; this is about being able to function normally without having a stomach puffed out to the size of a watermelon. This isn’t about following a trend in the media in hopes to drop weight. I absolutely hate that the mass population thinks that avoiding gluten will cause auto-MAGIC weight loss; if anything, the best way to eat gluten-free is non-processed, non-boxed foods, like fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats… nearly everything that was grown on this beautiful earth. Instead, most people turn to the fad diet and load their supermarket carts with GF pastries, cookies, donuts, crackers, and more. Even things, like almonds, are touted as health foods and marketed as GF… when they never had gluten to begin with. (?)

If the diagnoses is positive, this would clear up so many things for me, like the “IBS” I suffered tremendously from, from age 6 to 19. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is apparently one of the misdiagnoses of Celiacs Disease.

Well, goodbye gluten. I’ll miss your taste but not the after effects. You’re a bittersweet breakup.

Tomorrow is race day and I’m just hoping to be able to crawl out of my bed on time. Pray for me. If you don’t pray, wish. If you don’t wish, either, then screw you. Life takes a little luck.

xxo A