Reflection Perfection

Even after losing a bunch of weight, transforming both your body and your lifestyle, there will inevitably be parts of yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually, et cetera) that you’ll still long to change.

After 2 years of 98% clean eating (slip-ups happen to me, also, you better believe it. Also, Thanksgiving and Christmas and such holidays) and exercising at least 5 days every single week, I still have areas of my body that are under construction or, in my opinion, need improvement. For example, since I am an apple-shape, I carried most of my overweight in my abdomen and upper hips. With weight training, interval training, and eating right, the weight and inches have gradually worked themselves off. But because of my body shape and fat distrobution, I have the hardest time seeing advancements in my abs. But, quite the contrary, a moment of eating weakness and it’s the very first place to show. Suddenly, my hard-earned cuts will start to soften.

Insanity: The Asylum has been the one workout that is starting to really make a difference in the apperance of my abs. I long so much to see my own “washboard” set- I feel like that’s the shining gold star to being lean. I’m learning to be a little nicer to myself in the way I talk (mentally) to myself and just bide my time as the abdominals appear. My stomach has always, always been the most insecure part of my body. I always made peace with my legs, my height (being 5’9” and taller than most of the guys growing up), heck- I was even starting to familiarize myself with my size at 14-16, but my stomach has always been that one area that I couldn’t get past. I’d make my best attempt through high school, sucking it in and occassionally wearing a girdle (ladies, do you know what I’m talkin’ about here?) to smooth out the lumps and bumps.

After taking off the weight, I’ve never been so close to flat abs AND the 6-pack I’m after. I don’t feel as uncomfortable now when my husband wants to touch it, though I do still have the “suck-in” reflex going on, though there isn’t a need. I just have to wait it out and keep my head held high.

Last year, before I started my journey with Beachbody and a round with P90X, I was faced with a situation of having Laser Lipo on said areas. The appointment was set up, my anti-anxiety and pain medications were filled and purchased, and we were ready to head out early morning on a Saturday. Then, at 165 pounds, I was ready to surgically remove myself from my tummy troubled passed. If Weight Watchers couldn’t pull through for me with their magical ways, I’d rely on a plastic surgeon and “body sculptor” to remove the excess. Well, being the blood and needle baby that I am, I couldn’t go through with it. We made it all the way to the clinic and I completely froze. Could. Not. Go. In.

My husband gave me two options in the parking lot- either suck it up and have the painful procedure anyway, or cowgirl up and  work off the weight myself. Sigh. I chose the latter. Somedays, I still wonder how close I’d be right now to those golden abs if I’d gone through with it AND continued to work harder (smarter).

Do you have stubborn areas? Am I the only one mad enough to have considered something like liposuction to “fix” a problem?


2 thoughts on “Reflection Perfection

  1. I wish, I wish, I wish… I’d taken measurements of my thighs and upper arms (among other areas) prior to losing my weight!

    I know they’re both smaller, but I have days where I look at them and my brain sends some stupid impulse telling me they’re still huge. I’ve lost 95 pounds and gone down from a size 22 to a size 10. I know full well my arms and legs are smaller, but somewhere between my eyes and my brain the image sometimes gets distorted. I wish I had the measurements so I could sit down and give myself a firm talking to when this happens.

    I’m very self conscious about these two regions of my body… calves, too, actually. I have an hourglass figure and always have had. (It was just wider than most.) But it means my weight gain was all over, head to toe. And it’s come off the same way so my upper arms and thighs aren’t skinny… And those are the areas I’m incredibly self-conscious and critical of. And I hate that!

  2. you aren’t crazy! I have problem areas also. I work out like you 5 days a week and it shows off but the minute I indulge a little too much it shows on my stomach and I hate it! It’s so annoying! Also, after my weight loss, my breasts dramatically changed shape. I am now considering a reconstruction. No enlargement, just fixing the problem!

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